February 2012
9 posts
January 2012
14 posts
Lies my parents told me
Every Tuesday evening I run a pub quiz at The Wandle in Earlsfield and every week for extra points the teams are set a ‘napkin challenge’.
This week it was, ‘Lies my parents told me’. While not all of these are thigh-slappingly hilarious, some of them are lovely/heartbreaking/fucking depressing.
Everyone has three nipples.
One time my terrapin died. My Mum told me he...
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I sent my brother last week's pub quiz questions....
1. Frank Lampard
2. THEY WERE FAKE
3. No idea
4. No idea
5. Who?
6. Don’t ask don’t tell
7. No idea
8. The fucking essex bullshit
9. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?
10. St Pauls
11.No idea
12. …August?
13. Rupurt thingy
14. LOL, OMG?
15. playaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ Don’t actually know
16. No idea
17. No idea
18. Mubarak?
19. Little Mix
20. May
21. No idea
22. No idea
23. No...
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"In which I am made up" →
A blog post by the very interesting and all-round great gal, Blonde, about wearing make-up, or not wearing it, more specifically.
After reading this I decided to spend the day without any make-up on.
No one recoiled in horror or asked if I was ill.
I might keep it up.
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December 2011
26 posts
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NO.
It’s not Christmas until you’ve had a SLEEP.
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My First Nativity
Somewhere between living in Germany and Scotland and missing out on the festive period of the school year, I didn’t take part in my first nativity until about Year Two.
In Whitehall Primary School in Bristol, Mrs Patience (an apt name for a primary school teacher) was doling out the roles for The Nativity™ to the eager pupils of Class 2AP.
“Who wants to play Mary?”
Every...
Awkward Situations For Girls: How to buy lingerie... →
katiekhan:
Last Thursday found me trudging towards the train station after a long day at work, huddled deep inside my coat against the autumnal rain, when a bright light caught my eye. ‘SALE’, it screamed, in subliminal six-foot lettering. ‘Sexy underwear’, it whispered over the howl of the wind. I…
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Where I'm not allowed to talk about rape in front...
Of the many things I do to earn money and get by, one of those things is travelling to schools all over the country and running workshops on anti-bullying. They are hard-hitting sessions that deal with difficult issues in a frank and open manner, but they are also fun and energetic. I have worked with people of every age and walk of life, from two-year-old toddlers to 30-year-old construction...
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How to make your own Christmas crackers
Thread a cracker snap through a toilet roll tube and secure with sticky tape. Have a younger family member take a stab at decorating it. It’ll teach them that hard work leads to their efforts exploding in front of them. Yell this life lesson right in their optimistic little face when they pull their cracker later on. Now it’s time to fill the crackers. I’m a fan of jokes (What’s green and sounds...
A response to the short story I posted earlier →
escargod:
this is a nice story, i’m just gurgling some personal thoughts underneath it. feel free to ignore. :)
i’m just shy of this situation this christmas. my brother was killed in the summer. the family keeps straining to bring us all together and close up the hole left in our lives, but it’s hard, and in some ways it’s especially hard on us kids. one sister has kept to herself, the other...
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Have Yourself A Selfish Little Christmas
(A short story I wrote for Eat Me magazine’s Christmas Issue about a man who decides to spend Christmas Day alone)
“… real live turkey! Feel free to share what you’re up to today by sending in more of your festive pictures. Here’s a lovely photo from Patty in Bristol who’s getting into the ‘spirits’ with a bottle of Amaretto! Lovely. And look, she’s put an adorable little Santa Claus hat on...
November 2011
6 posts
