New video on the whole running thing, this time with a cameo from Rachel England.
Our justgiving page: All the Eswyn Ladies (all the eswyn ladies) http://www.justgiving.com/EswynLadies?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=socsp…
Rachel’s funny and witty blog about it all:http://rachelinlondon.wordpress.com/
More information about The Stroke Association and the run itself:http://www.stroke.org.uk/fundraising/fundraising_events/res_clapham_common.html
Every Tuesday evening I run a pub quiz at The Wandle in Earlsfield and every week for extra points the teams are set a ‘napkin challenge’.
This week it was, ‘Lies my parents told me’. While not all of these are thigh-slappingly hilarious, some of them are lovely/heartbreaking/fucking depressing.
- Everyone has three nipples.
- One time my terrapin died. My Mum told me he went to the farm. For years I proudly told my friends that my terrapin was living on a farm. On my 21st birthday my Mum told me, “Your terrapin died, Steve.” Sorry this isn’t very funny but to me this is therapy.
- Ginger children happen when wives cheat on their husbands. My brother has ‘strawberry blond’ hair.
- God exists.
- When the ice cream van plays music it’s run out of ice cream.
- When I was little my Mum told me that aliens had dropped me off when I was a baby and that they would pick me up when I was 18. I believed her until I was 12.
- That I could grow up to be anything I wanted. Hilarious.
- The reason tennis courts are flat is because elephants have matches at night.
- You’ll grow into your looks.
- That Narnia was real. I hung out in my cupboard for hours.
- That Mum’s breasts were real.
- You’re not adopted, you’re just very tanned.
- We were jumping on the bed.
1. Good lighting
2. Different model
The Story of Menstruation, a Disney production.
LOL what about proprietor?
I am in my thirties so pulling this ‘WHOOPSIE! I’M JUST A WIDDLE GIRL’ face is in no way creepy.
Video blog number three: Where I do a lot of heavy breathing and I say, “super!” 43 times.
Our justgiving page: All the Eswyn Ladies (all the eswyn ladies)http://www.justgiving.com/EswynLadies?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=socsp…
Rachel’s funny and witty blog about it all:http://rachelinlondon.wordpress.com/
More information about The Stroke Association and the run itself:http://www.stroke.org.uk/fundraising/fundraising_events/res_clapham_common.html
I was walking to work this morning when I felt something grab my leg.
I jumped and swung round, ready to scream bloody murder, when I looked down and saw what had grabbed me.
“Please! Help me! I’ve been out here for a week!”
“What?”
“I don’t know what I did wrong. They covered me in lights… I was the focus of the fucking room!”
“You’re a talking tree.”
“They stripped me bare and threw me out here. They keep walking past me. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?”
“You’re a tree. You can’t talk.”
“Please, you’ve got to help me. They keep a spare key under the mat. You can take me back inside where it’s warm.”
“I’m sorry, I think I’m drunk cause I’m talking to a tree.”
“FOCUS. GET THE KEY.”
“WHY ARE YOU YELLING?”
“CAUSE I’M NAKED AND COLD.”
“I have to go…”
“No. No! Don’t leave… Why do they keep leaving?”
1. Frank Lampard
2. THEY WERE FAKE
3. No idea
4. No idea
5. Who?
6. Don’t ask don’t tell
7. No idea
8. The fucking essex bullshit
9. HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?
10. St Pauls
11.No idea
12. …August?
13. Rupurt thingy
14. LOL, OMG?
15. playaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ Don’t actually know
16. No idea
17. No idea
18. Mubarak?
19. Little Mix
20. May
21. No idea
22. No idea
23. No idea
24. No idea
25. No idea
26. No idea
27. No idea
28. No idea
29. I fucking
30. Suck
so bad…
I run a weekly pub quiz and yesterday this was the picture round.
The pub manager had a go.
Him: Ok, got it, got it, got it… Who’s number seven? Death of a dictator? Oh! Mu-Ga-Gad-GANDHI!
Yes, number seven is the death of notorious Libyan dictator, Mahatma Gandhi.
A blog post by the very interesting and all-round great gal, Blonde, about wearing make-up, or not wearing it, more specifically.
After reading this I decided to spend the day without any make-up on.
No one recoiled in horror or asked if I was ill.
I might keep it up.
WALES. Get thee to the theatre. This is the show I worked on briefly last year. This is the next stage in its development where the performers actually serve you a three course meal during the show. Well worth going.
Video blog number two: Doing our bit for charidee…
Sally, Rachel and I (and more, we’re sure) are going to do a bit of a run for The Stroke Association in March. Follow the link for more info http://www.stroke.org.uk/fundraising/fundraising_events/res_clapham_common.html
In a bid to tick off one of my New Year’s Resolutions (or should that be, reso-LOL-tions) before 2012 even begins, I have ordered some business cards.
“Figure out what it is you actually want to do” is being tackled with cards that state IN WRITING AND EVERYTHING that I am a food and comedy writer.
I figure if they’re written down on a business card, then I have no choice but to pursue those things.
Here you can see the front and reverse sides. I’ve blurred out my phone number before posting here, if anyone was wondering why it looks a little smudged.
