Turns out that in the deepest, darkest recesses of my laptop is a folder of videos and pictures I took while in the throws of my last big relationship from my early twenties.
They’re all from the first year when things were great. I’d forgotten how good we had it and let the latter half of our time together mar the memories. Looking through these… it WAS good. I had forgotten.
Everything that went wrong was no one’s fault in particular. We weren’t the first golden couple of our little era to end and we weren’t the last. That doesn’t mean it stung us any less, but we were hardly unique.
Looking back at old videos doesn’t make me angry or upset (except at how I clearly didn’t appreciate how great my body was at the time), it just makes me a little nostalgic, and it makes me pity that kid who threw herself into love with complete abandon.
But if she hadn’t done that, where would I be now? And who would I have ended up with?
We were just young, is all.
That whirlwind belonged to that time.
We were just young.
“A man is walking along and he falls into a hole. He tries to climb out but the walls are too steep.
A doctor walks past, the man calls out to him. ‘Doctor, can you help me? I’ve fallen into this hole and can’t get out.’
The doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it into the hole.
A priest walks by, and the man calls to him.
‘Father, you gotta help me. I’ve fallen into this hole and can’t get out. Will you help me out?’
The priest writes out a prayer and drops it down into the hole.
The man’s friend walks by and the man calls out.
‘Buddy! I’m stuck in this hole, you gotta help me out.’
His friend, without hesitation, jumps into the hole.
‘Are you crazy?!’ says the man. ‘Now we’re both stuck!’ To which his friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.”
- Leo McGarry
The West Wing
Admitting there’s a problem is a heck of a way to start alleviating said problem. You get to start feeling a little better, day to day.
Getting a good night’s sleep, though, going the night without letting bad thoughts and memories wake you up, well… that’s the kicker.